Tameka Foster, Usher’s wife, is in stable condition following complications suffered during “routine surgery” in Brazil. Usher canceled his pre-Grammy performance to fly to Tameka’s bedside. The “routine surgery” was some type of plastic surgery (cough*vaginalreconstruction*cough).

Note that this wasn’t done in the US. This was done in Brazil. A place where the rules are a little less strict. You could ask them to sew you a three-headed hell hound if you wanted. An operation the holier than thou doctors in America call unethical. Obviously they don’t realize how awesome and menacing a three-headed Rottweiler could be. I was going to name it “Frickin’ Sweet.” I had the dog tag printed and everything.