Hugh Hefner

Looks like all those years of forcing girls down on his wrinkly balls have taken a toll on Hugh Hefner. At a recent appearance at the Annual Kandyland Masquerade Ball at the Playboy Mansion on Saturday, guests said that while Hef was in a good mood, he looked sickly.

“He looked so old, like he had aged 10 years in the last month and was barely moving,” said an insider, adding that Hef’s new number one Crystal held his hand and assisted him as she “slowly shuffled” along while his other lovers (the 19-year-old Shannon twins) marched ahead of the bunny brigade and reveled in the limelight.

“I have some aches and pains and I have had lower back problems since the ’80s,” Hefner told Tarts last year. “Too much time in bed rustling around with friends.”

When Hef’s girls leave him again, the new casting call for Girls Next Door will have to ask for a buxom, adventurous blonde, 18 to 26 years of age, who knows how to change a colostomy bag. A romantic evening for Hef used to be a fancy dinner and a blue pill, now it’s whenever he doesn’t wet his diaper.