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Melissa Theuriau is probably the only reporter you could pop a boner to while a montage of amputated children, brutalized women and massacred husbands played in a little box next to her head. A lot of fans must go up to her and tell her that they loved her on so and so date only to be glared at and told, “You mean when I reported on the guy who locked his wife in the basement and repeatedly raped his kids?” “Wha? Oh, yea, yea,” they’d mutter as they began furiously masturbating.

More sexiness after the jump.

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