George Clooney

The crazies over at PETA have vowed that you will be eating tofu flavored with George Clooney’s sweat once they’ve perfected the recipe. The “CloFu’s” scent is said to be harvested from a towel soaked in Clooney’s sweat that someone picked up in a DC gym which will be processed by high tech gadgetry to convert it into a flavor.

“We believe CloFu would be delicious served by itself or over rice with a light soy sauce and sautéed collards, in a casserole with melted vegan cheese and olives,” said PETA head Ingrid Newkirk.

George Clooney responded that “as a mammal, I’m offended.” The NYDN also makes a good point that this might not even be Clooney’s towel and might really have been used by a hairy slob to wipe his ass crack with. In essence, if you wanted the same effect right now, simply go to your local gym and run your tongue along a random dude’s taint.