Chris Brown in court

Chris Brown pled not guilty to assault and making criminal threats. Rihanna was not present at the hearing in LA today, but Chris’ friends and bodyguards were there praying he didn’t get thrown in jail and leave them without income.

Outside the courthouse, Rihanna’s lawyer told reporters that she wanted the case over quickly. Reading between the lines, this means a plea bargain for Chris. While Rihanna is willing to testify, she still does not want it to go to court.

They should dole out justice like the olden days. By that I mean, in order for Chris to be forgiven, he needs to retrieve a mystical artifact from a temple of doom. Wait. Am I confusing olden days with Indiana Jones again?