David Caruso’s ex-girlfriend is suing the actor for “emotional distress” and “breach of an agreement to support her.” Caruso dumped Liza Marquez when she was pregnant with their second child in 2007 and officially split with her via paternity action after she gave birth. A note along with the paperwork read: “reconciliation is not an option.”

Liza claims David promised to pay her $1 million but never did. The suit also alleges David wanted her to get an abortion for her first pregnancy, “raised a hand” to her while she was pregannt, accused her of wanting to sleep with Billy Dee Williams (who wouldn’t! swoon) and told people she was crazy. Liza also says she happened to stumble upon David’s private stash of 1970’s porn. A golden age for adult films.

David, upon hearing this, tilted his head down, put on his sunglasses, raised his head and said, “I like turtles.” Man, that David is not clever at all without a writer.

[Star, Radar]