Lindsay seeks comfort on the cover of Us Weekly

Lindsay Lohan was finally dumped by Samantha Ronson over the weekend and after burying her face in her hands for a day or so, she went to Us Weekly to do a cover story. That’s step four of the healing process in case you were wondering.

Lohan says her split with Sam over the weekend, where Ronson hired five security guards to keep her out of a JCPenny event, was “humiliating” and “absolute hell.”

“Everyone’s turned on me,” says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said “Uck,” and Drea De Matteo said, “Come at me, bitch.”

To have Nicole Richie, a girl who weighed 50 pounds on her best day, say “uck” to you is sad. That’s like a blind homeless guy giving you change because you’re so pathetic.

Don’t worry though. Lindsay says those rumors about her threatening to kill herself aren’t true. She still has PEOPLE and OK! Magazine lined up after all.