ONE: She-Hulk’s alter ego, Jennifer Walters, is a lawyer. Has been since day one. Megan Fox is barely old enough to buy beer, much less play a criminal defense attorney. At 22/23, Fox is just too young. For that, you might as well hire Lohan. At least she comes with the built-in rage.

TWO: Megan Fox CANNOT ACT. It’s not like She-Hulk is Shakespeare, but she has to do more than just act like a vapid c**k trap for 2 hours. Giving a high profile lead role like this would be like giving Shia the lead in the next Jack Ryan actioner. Not believable as actors or even people.

THREE: On the heels of 2 mediocre box office performers, does anybody think that this might be a success? Marvel’s best option would be to go the Wonder Woman DVD route. Sure. You won’t be able to see Megan jiggle for 2 hours, but at least the character could get her own flick and Fox can continue to pay for her life of ignorant bliss.

FOUR: No… More… F**king… Origin… Movies!!!! The formula is dead. D-E-A-D DEAD. Give a quickie flashback to her origin and go on to a bigger story. Maybe play up some of the lighter dramedy elements of her Slott & G1 Byrne eras.

FIVE: “More savage than the Hulk!?!” The guy kicks tanks, puts soldiers in body casts, and beats up giant mutant dogs. Besides, the She-Hulk character may have started off as savage back in 1979, but she really rose to popularity as a far less savage character back during her Fantastic Four membership in 1984. The idea of a “savage” She-Hulk disappeared totally from the moment Byrne made her more of a comedic figure in 1989. That’s 20 years since she’s been “savage.”

To simply write her as a cheap female knock-off of Hulk would be a major mistake. If anything, she’s more like a gamma powered Ally McBeal.