Paula Abdul, drunk?

Paula Abdul admitted today that she was duped into believing a fake Bruno sit down she did was for real. In an interview with 104.7 FM, she recounts the experience.

It all started with a call that she won “Artist of the Year” in Germany. Because winning things is awesome, she agreed to an “interview.” Paula explains and Us transcribes:

“I’m greeted by this futuristic, Captain Nemo–looking dude with a mohawk — and he’s flaming,” recalls Abdul, who said she never signed a release (her publicist did). “I’m like, ‘OK, this is weird. Is this a variety show or something like that?'”

“So I walk in and there was no furniture except for a chair. And I’m waiting and waiting,” she continued. “And this guy Bruno introduces himself, and I said, ‘Hi.’ And he said, ‘Here, have some food.’ And the food looked horrible! And I said, ‘No, I’m fine.’ And he said, ‘It’s very, very, very good.’ I said, ‘That’s Ok, I don’t want to have it.'”

Abdul said Bruno then apologized for not having furniture for the interview.

“He snaps his fingers and says, ‘Gardeners!'” she recalled. “And these two Mexican guys come in, and they drop down to all fours. I see him paying them like 10 bucks. They drop down to all fours and he says [to me], ‘Sit down.'” And I said, ‘I’m not doing that!'”

“So I’m tipping and holding my core muscles to not sit on them. And he pushes me down on them, and I’m like, ‘I’m sorry!'” she said.

It got even more bizarre, Abdul said, when he kicked one of them and they all fell on the ground.

“It was getting so uncomfortable!” she said. “I’m throwing daggers with my eyes at my publicist. And they’re kicking my publicist out. And I said, ‘Get me out of here. This is crazy. This is not funny, this is discrimination. This is abusive stuff going on here!'”

“And he says, ‘I need you to change your clothes,’ and I said, ‘No, I won’t be doing that. I have to go to work … And by the way, where’s my award?”

Abdul – who had to go to an Idol taping – then dashed out.

“As I’m going to my car, they’re chasing me with cameras,” she said. “And I’m like, ‘Oh God, this is so awkward.’ And I’m trying to hold a smile on my face and the guy, Bruno, is running down the street in front of the car.”

“It was hysterical, but it was so disturbing,” added Abdul. “I was so mad at my publicist at that point. I said, ‘I can’t believe you signed [the release].’ And my manager and attorney were trying to call the production office — and, of course, it doesn’t exist. So I was freaking out.”

A year went by, she said.

Then, her manager got a call three weeks ago from a reporter who heard that she had fallen for one of Sacha Baron Cohen’s stunts.

“I said, ‘I’ve never done anything with Sacha Cohen … they’re wrong!'” she said. “At 2 o’clock in the morning that night, I woke up in a cold sweat. I popped my body up out of bed and I went, ‘Holy crap! Oh my God!’ And that’s what happened. And I’m dying. Cause you don’t expect it. You just don’t expect it.”

Added Abdul, “Like I said, I thought it was just one of those Japanese TV shows where they do crazy things.”

This movie is going to be great. There’s nothing more satisfying than watching a bunch of nitwits get thrown off their game. Especially when it’s Paula Abdul. She’s so easy to trick so you can get away with a lot of stuff. I put a cardboard cutout of Brad Pitt in her bed one time and she spent an hour trying to seduce it.