Where’s a bucket? I need to yak

In an excerpt from her new book Mommywood, Tori Spelling goes into explicit detail about how she had her husband, Dean McDermott, shave her genitals while she was pregnant.

“I wasn’t prepared for losing sight of my lower region. I’d say, ‘Dean, how’s it looking down there? Do I need to shave?’ But of course I couldn’t shave. So Dean had to shave me. He’d hold up a mirror and say ‘How’d I do?’ Or he’d take a picture with his Blackberry to show me.”

I tried to think of something clever to say, but I ended up just dry-heaving for ten minutes. There’s got to be some law prohibiting Tori from publishing this. I mean, even though I’m strongly against book burning, I’d make an exception for this.

P.S. What’s wrong with her tits?