Gwyneth Paltrow @ Valentino

Gwyneth Paltrow has this website called GOOP. I’m not exactly sure what it’s supposed to be, but it looks like a blog trying to mask its blogginess. She sends out these newsletters every once in a while where she gives advice ranging from how to solve constipation to what hideous clothing she enjoys wearing. The latest mailing focuses on her frenemy.

Back in the day, I had a “frenemy” who, as it turned out, was pretty hell-bent on taking me down. This person really did what they could to hurt me. I was deeply upset, I was angry, I was all of those things you feel when you find out that someone you thought you liked was venomous and dangerous. I restrained myself from fighting back. I tried to take the high road. But one day I heard that something unfortunate and humiliating had happened to this person. And my reaction was deep relief and…happiness. There went the high road. So, why does it feel so good to hear something bad about someone you don’t like? Or someone you DO like? Or someone you don’t KNOW? I once asked the editor of a tabloid newspaper why all of the stories about a famous British couple had a negative bent. He said that when the headline was positive, the paper didn’t sell. Why is that? What’s wrong with us? I asked the sages to shed a little light.

Here’s to washing our mouths out with soap…

Gwyneth is talking about Winona Ryder, right? Any other guesses? Can anyone stand Gwyneth Paltrow? This could easily be half of Hollywood she’s talking about. Does she have anything other than frenemies? Is this why I always see her eating alone at restaurants looking sullenly into her plate of lettuce? Poor Gwyneth. Maybe I shouldn’t have threw that water balloon at her. Oh well, what’s done is done. No point in feeling bad about it.

I’m going to put Madonna as option 2.