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Some jokester invited Denise Richards to butcher “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at the Chicago Cubs game last Friday. Hellen Keller could have given a better performance. You could have put the microphone in front of a car alarm and it would have been one hundred times more melodious. Wasn’t this sort of mean, too? This is like inviting a retard to sing knowing full well that they’re going to embarrass themselves.

And does Denise not even know the words to this song that she has to look down at lyrics every few seconds? That’s un-American. What is she, a communist?