Katie Holmes can’t satisfy Tom Cruise

Katie Holmes has already signed on to Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, which is reportedly really making Tom Cruise sad because he wanted to have sex and have another baby. That’s what straight men do, right?

“But Katie was such a hit that she right away landed a film role in The Extra Man, and that led to another movie project,” said the source.

“Katie feels she had to strike while the iron is hot career-wise. Since she’s only 30, she feels there’s plenty of time for more kids,” said the source, especially since she turned down reprising her role in bat-sequel The Dark Knight.

Another hurdle they have to overcome besides the time thing is the lack of foreplay. Tom caresses her naked body like you would a snotty napkin someone left on your table.