paris hilton magic bra

Paris Hilton’s latest venture will be designing kid’s clothes. Her tag line will call for kids to “slut up”. Pre-teen pregnancy will rise 25%. Mothers and fathers will cry. Worse, Paris is taking a hands on approach. She tweeted yesterday: “Just got home from a long day. About to start drawing the character for my new children’s clothing line.”

The only thing Paris knows about kids and clothing is that the fingers of eight-year-olds are very adept at sewing fabric. They also don’t need health insurance or 401k’s, just a juice box every four hours. This is not going to end well. Stores better start deciding whether or not they want to stock Hello Kitty stripper wear with hidden coke compartments in their children’s section.