Afternoon time wasters

Ahhh, SQUEL, New Moon. Squeeeal. That’s pretty much the gist of this whole video.

• The story of Michael Jackson’s secret kid. [Popeater]
• Adrian Grenier’s penis smells rank. [The Superficial]
• Michelle Williams looks sickly at her b-day party. [Bossip]
• Models getting topless. Need I say more? Also, a dog drinking out of a champagne glass. [Drunken Stepfather]
• Jessica Simpson is all smiles. See, Jessica’s not depresed. [Popsugar]
• These are animals failing. [Holy Taco]
• Taxpayer dollars used to fund man cave. [Asylum]
• Brad Pitt is pissed Aniston is hooking up with Gerard Butler says secret source Jennifer Ani…stasia.[Celebslam]
• Celebrate National Tequila Day by passing out in your own vomit. [CoEd]
• Anyone can strip for cash in Rhode Island. [Dlisted]
• Tony Romo left Jessica Simpson in an IHOP parking lot in the middle of Texas. Damn frat boys and their initiations. [Celebitchy]
• Eliza Dushku is in FHM. [Popoholic]
• Hayden Christensen is a big dork. [Just Jared]
• Mick Jagger’s daughter one-ups Miley Cyrus’ Vanity Fair shoot. [EB]
• More premiere pics from Inglourious Basterds. [CS]
• This is how expectant mothers do a chest bump. [SOW]
• Ashley Greene and her legs were at Comic-Con. [MoeJackson]