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Being a big shot director in Hollywood must be awesome. Aspiring actresses will debase themselves any way you want just to get even a non-speaking role in your film. Just think what you could do with parts that have lines. If you’re hard pressed for ideas, you can do what Michael Bay did.

He made Megan Fox come to his house and wash his Ferrari while he filmed her for what I imagine is his ever growing fetish collection. Thus was her audition for Transformers. But, Page Six says he’s playing coy regarding the whereabouts of the tape:

“She said she didn’t know what had happened to that footage. When I put it to Bay himself, he looked suitably abashed — ‘Er, I don’t know where it is either.’ ” Come on. Cough it up!

Wow, Michael Bay. You’re a pervert. A diabolical genius, but a pervert nonetheless. And what kind of asshole does this to Megan Fox and not even send me a copy for me? C’mon, dude. Quit being such a dick.