Anna Paquin is a dork | The Blemish

Anna Paquin is a dork

By on August 7, 2009

anna-paquin-bike

“Mommy said to go out and play. Mommy said to wear my helmet at all times even when not riding. Mommy said I’m special and that’s why I get this pink bike and pink helmet. I’m specialer than you, actually. Mommy told me to not eat glue because glue is bad for you but I like glue because it’s yummy. Do you have any? Uh oh. Mommy said not to talk to strangers. Stranger danger! Stranger danger!”

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  • Dalton Russell

    Hey TheBlemish,

    Amazing picture of Anna Paquin. It really sells itself. All you needed was the caption. It is a pretty pitiable situation, that she would totally dork out like this. She was even semi-hot in Spike Lee’s “25th Hour”. Such a shame. Helmets are for losers and retards.

    And the ‘glove-slap duel challenge’ was a good line.

    And “… became a full-grown fetus making the cha-ching sound”, was the day’s best. Though you may be going a bit hard at Samatha, as I too would bone Jude Law for an 18-year subsidy.

  • Cash907

    As cute as your commentary is Blemish, I’m pretty sure California has a Nazi-like bike helmet law. As stupid as that helmet looks, it’s better then pictures of her getting ticketed for not wearing a helmet, which TMZ and well, sites like yours, would have an even bigger field day with.

    Also, those dorky pink retro bikes are all the fucking rage right now, sadly. There’s a place in Riverside that reconditions original Schwinn’s from the 50′s and 60′s, and sells the damn things for 10 grand apiece.

  • Kristine

    Um…haven’t you ever heard of a head injury? Making fun of people who wear helmets is lame. The pink bike is pretty awful though.

    • Danny

      I hear ya! Ohh look at Anna Paquin, making a good impression. Let’s laugh at her! =D

  • Walter

    A dork is a whale’s penis. She doesn’t look like one to me.

  • Sarah

    It might not be solely the helmet as much as it is the white basket on the bicycle in combination with the helmet.

  • jerk

    Safety first Anna! Safety is cool.

  • Zee Brat

    Yes, laugh at her because she’d rather not be brain dead. Genius.

  • Bite me Blemish

    Since when is wanting to protect your skull from being dented on the bonnet of a car a BAD thing.

    Jeez.

  • twzzlrgirl

    Why don’t you find a pic of a celebrity wearing a seat belt and make fun of that too. You are really hilarious.

  • Kris

    Would you rather have her do coke off the helmet?? Shame on a celebrity who is actually creating a positive influence. Being safe and following laws like the common people, how stupid of her!!!

  • Ro

    Yeesh. The helmet shows she’s safety-minded and law abiding, and she’s riding a bike because she’s health conscious and fit. Yeah, gee, terrible combination. What are you, nuts?

  • karen

    Yeah, never mind a photo of her getting ticketed, how about a photo of her with her brain all over the road, or since it would probably be less dramatic than that.. her falling off, getting back up, going home then dying in her sleep (like Natasha Richardson a while ago)
    What is more lame, wearing a helmet (when like someone said, a lot of places have laws REQUIRING THEM) or dying because you were too cool to wear a helmet ?
    hmmmmmmm….

    anyway she is a dork because she just plain looks like one. Her face is all flat and pointy at the same time..lol

  • dixy

    The idiot writer probably loved Chris Brown beating up that Jamaican chick too. What a retard.

    • o rly

      dixy, you idiot, what Jamaican chick are you talking about, retard?

  • James S.

    First time reading this site. To the writer: Um, you’re not funny. Read The Superficial profusely to understand the nuances of good celebutard writing. And the girl here is wearing a helmet for safety, because thousands of people are killed in bicycling accidents every year. I fail to see the humor in all of this. Was it a slow day? Were you scrounging about for material? Are you so bitter in your existence that you have to pick on people via an anonymous blog to make yourself feel better? Yeah, don’t get it at all. Lame site.

  • Megan

    ditto. this is the most pointless post ever. are you in middle school? only idiots don’t wear helmets.

  • ryan

    Wah wah wah, I’m a little bitch. Wah wah wah.

    [translated]

  • krandem

    helmets are cooler than splattered brains.

  • orwell

    It’s a lose-lose situation.

    1. She wears a helmet, suffers an accident, survives because of the helmet and you make fun of her.

    or

    2. She doesn’t wear a helmet, suffers an accident, enters into a coma because of the absence of a helmet and you make fun of her.

    Nice Blemish. Very nice.