Speaking with MTV’s The After Show, Spencer Pratt declared his wife Heidi Montag to be the “new, modern day, 2010 Michael Jackson.” No one knows what that means, of course, including Spencer himself, but upon host Jessi Cruickshank informing him that Michael Jackson is dead, Pratt responded, “Yea, but here it is, it’s living, like the holy spirit. Like, Michael Jackson’s in heaven. The Holy Spirit now has Michael Jackson juice, so boom! For all we know, Heidi gets possessed with Michael Jackson’s divine spirit.”

Oh, I get it. It all makes sense now. Spencer Pratt wants to be punched in the face. This can be arranged. Don’t worry Spence. There’s no need to wave your arms wildly in the air to tell me that I should do it only if it is convenient. It’s no trouble at all.