Acceptance

Jessica Simpson has reached the fifth stage of the Kübler-Ross model, acceptance. After enlisting the help of experts, cold calling neighbors and basically doing everything short of calling in the Navy SEALS, Jessica Simpson is finally giving up the search for her probably dead Maltese poodle Daisy, last seen being abducted by a hungry coyote. TMZ reports:

Sources close to the situation tell us Simpson and the FindToto.com people have exhausted every possible resource to find Jessica’s precious Daisy — last spotted in the grasp of a wild coyote.

We’re told Simpson’s camp used tracking dogs, scoured neighborhoods, put up posters, power-dialed neighbors and did everything else they could to find a clue … but came up short.

We’re even told a pet psychic offered to help, but we’re not sure if Jessica actually accepted the supernatural offer.

Thank god. This search was getting ridiculous. I thought I was going to have to send Jessica a letter that said, “Stop looking. You’re dog is dead. — Signed, Coyote,” attached with a fake bloody paw to convince her of the hopelessness.