Kristin Cavallari admitted to Dan Levy on “The Hills Aftershow” that she is responsible for introducing Heidi and Spencer to each other. I would normally have the uncontrollable desire to punch her in her throat for this atrocity, but that urge is already reserved for the talentless fame whore and the flesh bearded one.

“I want to apologize to everybody, I had no idea what it would turn into,” Kristin said when Dan asked if she had any idea introducing the two would lead to staged photo ops, Heidi’s music career and their hokey pokey stint on “I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here.”

On second thought, Kristin could fall under the category of a talentless fame whore as well, so there’s no telling which throat these punches will hit. There’s also no telling because I’ll have my eyes tightly shut from fear while flailing my arms around. I like to rely on instinct that way.