David Letterman is efficient

The New York Post reports David Letterman used to go on vacations with his wife, his son, and his lover at the same time. Apparently, his wife believed Stephanie Birkitt was a co-worker, friend type that must’ve been on their expensive vacation to St Barts to assist with the Late Show.

“Letterman’s wife, Regina Lasko, had no clue the comic was having an affair with his pretty, much younger assistant Stephanie Birkitt — a $200,000-a-year employee — when she was tagging along on the cozy, romantic trips, sources said.”

What a time and money saver. Instead of having two separate vacations, you can parade around your younger, hotter girlfriend while your older, miserable wife is none the wiser. Also, you and said girlfriend get to have the thrilling my-wife-doesn’t-have-a-clue sex and ninja your genitals around together while trying to not get caught. I’d have a vacation like that myself except I don’t have a family to abandon. In fact, I don’t have much, really. Just this laptop and seven strands of Rachel Weisz’s hair I got on eBay. But believe me, when I get a family, it’s straight to the Caribbean for us where operation abandonment will begin. You’ll see.