Speaking to Esquire, Guy Ritchie revealed that he still loves Madonna even though she’s retarded. He forgot to mention overbearing, bitchy and sinewy.

“She’s a manifester, if there ever was one,” he says. “First-rate manifester. Madonna makes things happen. Put Madonna up against any twenty-three-year-old, she’ll outwork them, outdance them, outperform them. The woman is broad.”

“Broad,” I say, repeating the word of the day.

“And, of course, here you go: I still love her,” he says. He takes a breath, drives through a red light. If no one is ahead of him, Guy Ritchie does not typically stop. “But she’s retarded, too.”

It’s rocky getting a divorce, innit? I say.

“You can’t tell someone when they’re getting divorced that their pain is an illusion,” he says. “I’m fucking telling you, I feel it, I’ve been through that. You have, too. No one can say you don’t feel that.” He drives on, talking more. “That’s the illusion of the illusion. The biggest fundamental is, you need a little ignorance.”

For those interested, Guy trains brazilian jiujitsu with Roger Gracie, one of the premiere grapplers. Which is interesting because it didn’t keep him from being submitted in his relationship. I can just imagine what Madonna did to him in the bedroom. Have you ever seen a grown man cry while being penetrated by Madonna? Ritchie has. She forced him to watch himself in the mirror.