Jon Gosselin hit up Larry King Live Thursday night to talk about all things Gosselin. Jon said, “I had an epiphany one day. I looked in the mirror and I said, ‘I don’t want to be this person anymore.'” That’s when he threw an Ed Hardy tee over his shirtless torso and said, “Ahh, that’s better.”

As you may have heard, Gosselin threw a hissy fit and ordered TLC to quit filming him and his kids. TLC begrudgingly agreed and suspended production. Jon told Larry that this wasn’t because TLC cut him out of the show (it probably was). Ending the series was in the works weeks before and the decision was based solely on the welfare of his eight children.

Asked if he should never have done the show in the first place, Jon said he has regrets. Regrets that he didn’t get more of the $186 million TLC made off his family. Actually, Jon explains, “In the beginning, it was for financial purposes. I can’t tell you if I would have had a better life then or now. Would we have been better off? I don’t know.” The Gosselins made $22,500 per episode so, no, it’s highly doubtful they would have been better off. Living off food stamps isn’t as fairytale-ish as the media will have you believe.

Mark Momijian, Kate’s attorney, had this to say. “Jon and Kate agreed with each other that the children would continue their participation in this show. If she thought it was detrimental for one minute,” she would pull the plug herself. Jon replied, “What he doesn’t understand,” he said, referring to Momjian, “is our life is our show. Our show is our life. I want it to stop completely.”

Wait. Did Jon just say he wants to end all their lives in some sort of murder-suicide? I know Kate is an overbearing bitch and all but that sounds extreme. But what do I know, the only show I’ve been on is that one with Chris Hansen and it was more of a guest spot. How am I to know how difficult it is to let a bunch of cameras film my stupid kids while I giggle at the $22,500 I fan myself with after every episode.