“Season of the Witch” and time wasters

Gisele Bundchen is fatter, pregnanter. [Drunken Stepfather]
Expect Chris Farley to rise from the grave and belly slap David Spade for this. [Asylum]
James Dean will be happy to know Robert Pattinson borrowed his style to be a vampire. [ASL]
Jessica Biel is sexy with a gun. [Hollywood Rag]
Kayla Ewell is in HQ. [UseMyComputer]
A rich girl gang is responsible for robbing Lindsay Lohan. [Yeeeah]
Megan Fox wants young girls to be sexy. Will be happy to see that Noah Cryus costume. [CNW]
David Beckham is a show-off. [Popsugar]
He should have just pushed Mika down the slide. [Dlisted]
Least surprising news. The Olsens are gonna be even richer. [Celebitchy]
Spinning ninja kick to the ball. [CoEd]
Mia Michaels does not have cancer. [CityRag]
Vanessa Hudgens didn’t get the memo that Uggs are dead. [MoeJackson]