Angelina Jolie has sex scenes

Angelina Jolie is getting older but I’d still do her because, jesus christ, it’s Angelina Jolie. It looks like Johnny Depp has the same idea because he signed on to star in The Tourist with her. Popeater has the exclusives on their sex scenes straight from the screenplay. Beware, it sounds like a tawdry romance novel you’d find at the grocery store checkout counter. A few scenes:

“The outline of her naked body is visible in the shower … Frank walks to the shower and opens the glass door. Walking in, he lifts Cara against the glass, clutching at her slithery body, kissing her frantically. She kisses him back with ardor, wrapping her dripping legs around his back.”

The screenplay goes on to describe a scene in which Jolie’s character of Cara “turns abruptly to Frank and presses her body against his … They exchange a long, passionate kiss.”

Later on, the sexual desires continue, and one scene goes as such: “Their lips meet. They kiss. And kiss. Like drinking from a fresh spring in the desert … Gently, careful, Frank slips his hands into Cara’s cleavage. Surprised, Cara starts to pull back — but Frank puts a finger to her lips. She hesitates, looks at him questioningly. But she doesn’t protest as his fingers move toward her bra.”

Wow, the only thing that kept me from turning gay while reading that was chugging a whey protein shake and smashing a bottle over my head. I guess actors need something more to work off of than just “Jolie enters room. Depp enters Jolie,” which would have been my version of the script.

Speaking of, here’s a trailer for Angelina’s new movie Salt.