Heidi Klum must be a witch because six weeks after giving birth to her fourth kid, she looks amazing again. She told the NYDN her secret,
“I think I’m partially lucky,” Klum, 36, told the Daily News. “I eat very healthy, I do watch what I eat a lot. People always think ‘oh, she probably doesn’t eat anything.’ I do eat a lot, but I do watch what I eat. I try to stay away from the carbs.”
I have it on good authority that these are all lies to cover up her real secret: eating the ground bones of newborns. No one looks like this six weeks after having their fourth kid. Britney Spears has only had two and she’s still clomping around LA looking like she should be pulling a carriage. I bet if you opened Heidi’s closet you’d see a row of virgins strung up and gagged waiting to be sacrificed. Why can’t all women be like this? If you’re wife or girlfriend isn’t back in shape in six weeks, you should ask them why they can’t be more like Heidi.
Here’s Heidi shooting a promo for CBS for the annual Victoria’s Secret Show.
She is a bitch for looking like this after giving birth. It is not fair to set unrealistic expectations for women. You are not a good example Heidi, you are a bad example for real women.