Michael Lohan is creepy

Elliot Osher, the former owner of strip-club Scores, kept notes on all the celebrities that entered his fine establishment in the hopes of one day writing a tell-all and profiting. That day is today and he has a not-quite surprising creepy story about Michael Lohan.

“Lindsay Lohan’s father once sat down and described the kind of dancer he was looking for,” says Osher. “We sent some girls over. Funny, they all seemed to look like Lindsay. We ended up having to show him to the door.”

Michael Lohan admits getting into an “altercation,” but maintains, “No girls danced for me. The last thing I’d want to see is a girl who looked like Lindsay. I don’t even look at the magazines where she’s done some risqué photos.”

“Maybe he just doesn’t remember,” insists Osher, adding: “The next week, Lindsay wanted to meet the girls who’d danced for her dad.”

Joe Simpson and Michael Lohan should form a holy unalliance called World’s Most Inappropriate Dads. Their weekly meetings will involve discussing how well their daughters’ dresses hugged their curves and trading half-naked photo shoot outtakes like baseball cards. This will only seem creepy to you, of course, because according to them, they don’t think of their daughters “in that way”. They’re just there to celebrate their children’s luscious bodies and figure out how to profit off them. If there’s something wrong with that, Michael and Joe don’t want to be right.