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Brooke Mueller has hired criminal defense lawyer Yale Galanter to help modify the protective order against Charlie Sheen “so they can work on resolving the conflicts in their marriage.” Conflicts such as Sheen putting a knife to Brooke’s throat and threatening to have her killed.

Galanter, who is currently in Aspen, says he was specifically hired to make sure prosecutors don’t “overreact” and charge Brooke with lying to cops. He says, like many women who find themselves in similar circumstances, Brooke didn’t realize that Charlie would be arrested after she called 911. So, Galanter says, Brooke soft-pedaled her story to a female cop hours after the 911 call but insists she did not recant.

Meanwhile, E! uncovered Brooke’s “checkered past.” Brooke has been arrested on two separate occasions. Once for DUI and causing damage to property. Another time for cocaine possession. Both cases were dropped.

According to the incident report, Mueller “had no recognition of hitting any sign,” and had to use the car door “as a brace to remain standing.” She consented to a field sobriety exam, and of the six tests the officer conducted, Mueller passed only one.

Mueller was arrested on DUI charges and taken to the Palm Beach County Jail, where she quickly told officers she had drunk wine, taken Vicodin, and previously used both marijuana and cocaine. She also expressed concern that someone had added Rohypnol, the date-rape drug, to her drink.

They should really make a Christmas special about Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen. Call it A Charlie Sheen Christmas or something like that. They should animate it too like the Charlie Brown ones. Choking, punching and putting a knife to your girlfriend’s throat is horrible in real life, but hilarious in cartoon form. Especially if there’s a laugh track.