Today’s top story: Whitney Port in Central Park bending over with her nipple hanging out. Much like other important events of our time, fifty years from now I will remember what I was doing when I saw these photos. Sitting in front of the computer not giving a shit.

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Michael Jackson’s toxicology report came in and sources say Jackson was indeed injected with a lethal amount of the anesthetic Propofol. However, that wasn’t all. They also found sedatives used to calm patients before surgery. Accordingly, Dr. Conrad Murray may escape responsibility for Jackson’s death.
A discovery of several substances in Jackson’s system could benefit Murray …

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Why is it that all of the celebrities who go topless are always the celebrities who I don’t want to see topless. Lily Allen, Kate Moss. There’s no burning desire to see any of these two without shirts, much less topless, yet, there they are without their bras on time and time again. Today it’s …

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Self magazine “touched up” Kelly Clarkson’s cover photo. By touched up, I mean they spent 45 hours in Photoshop editing out her fat. [Popeater]
Ashton Kutcher defies God’s will, escapes death. [The Superficial]
Not sure what’s more offensive. Being stalked by the paparazzi or being stalked by paparazzi who can’t pull up their pants. [Bossip]
Aubrey O’Day’s fat …

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As previously mentioned, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt snuck their way into the premiere of G.I. Joe. Heidi made sure to bring a copy of her Playboy magazine along with. Despite only showing the cover, it was enough to confirm my suspicions.
Playboy feels the same way I do about Heidi. That she’s the bane of …

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Here’s Taylor Momsen on the set of Gossip Girl, a show that takes rich teenagers and turns them into little whores. At least that’s what it looks like with these pictures.
Why do I get the feeling that this isn’t entirely legal. That at the end of the night I’m supposed to either leave a stack …

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TMZ found Samantha Burke’s, Jude Laws pregnant one night stand, Photobucket page and discovered the hidden gems within. Samantha had the hindsight to document her progressively expanding baby bump from when Jude’s sperm first met her egg until recently when that egg became a full on living fetus making the cha-ching sound in her womb.
You …

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Britney Spears showed up for a photo shoot in LA yesterday and, wow, she’s managed to turn her body around. No longer does her figure make me sigh with disappointment. Make no mistake, this is a far ways off from what she used to be before K-Fat. But, when your expectations have been this low …

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