The Golden Globes 2010 was trickery

In case you missed it, the 2010 Golden Globes were yesterday. I tuned in for a second because I thought Golden Globes was a euphemism for Best Breasts in the Industry, but I quickly threw my remote down in disgust when I found out I had been tricked again. Can they do that? Isn’t that, like, false advertising? Thankfully, Halle Berry and a few other celebs made up for it. I ended up having my own awards show. In my pants. Hey-o!

List of nominees/winners under the cut. Ones I didn’t agree with: Mostly Avatar for Best Drama. Sure, it had nice 3D effects, big, blue, naked cats and an epic run time, but that over Inglourious Basterds?

BEST FEATURE – DRAMA
WINNER: “Avatar”
“The Hurt Locker”
“Inglourious Basterds”
“Precious”
“Up in the Air”

BEST FEATURE – COMEDY
“(500) Days of Summer”
WINNER: “The Hangover”
“It’s Complicated”
“Julie & Julia”
“Nine”

ACTOR – DRAMA
WINNER: Jeff Bridges – “Crazy Heart”
George Clooney – “Up in the Air”
Colin Firth – “A Single Man”
Morgan Freeman – “Invictus”
Tobey Maguire – “Brothers”

ACTRESS – DRAMA
Emily Blunt – “The Young Victoria”
WINNER: Sandra Bullock – “The Blind Side”
Helen Mirren – “The Last Station”
Carey Mulligan – “An Education”
Gabourey Sidibe – “Precious”

ACTOR – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Matt Damon – “The Informant!”
Daniel Day-Lewis – “Nine”
WINNER: Robert Downey Jr. – “Sherlock Holmes”
Joseph Gordon-Levitt – “500 Days of Summer”
Michael Stuhlbarg – “A Serious Man”

ACTRESS – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Sandra Bullock – “The Proposal”
Marion Cotillard – “Nine”
Julia Roberts – “Duplicity”
Meryl Streep – “It’s Complicated”
WINNER: Meryl Streep – “Julie & Julia”

DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
Kathryn Bigelow – “The Hurt Locker”
WINNER: James Cameron – “Avatar”
Clint Eastwood – “Invictus”
Jason Reitman – “Up in the Air”
Quentin Tarantino – “Inglourious Basterds”

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Matt Damon – “Invictus”
Woody Harrelson – “The Messenger”
Christopher Plummer – “The Last Station”
Stanley Tucci – “The Lovely Bones”
WINNER: Christoph Waltz – “Inglourious Basterds”

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Penelope Cruz – “Nine”
Vera Farmiga – “Up in the Air”
Anna Kendrick – “Up in the Air”
WINNER: Mo’Nique – “Precious”
Julianne Moore – “A Single Man”

SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
Neill Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell – “District 9?
Mark Boal – “The Hurt Locker”
Nancy Meyers – “It’s Complicated”
WINNER: Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner – “Up in the Air”
Quentin Tarantino – “Inglourious Basterds”

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
“Baaria” (Italy) – Medusa Film; Summit Entertainment
“Broken Embraces” (Spain) – El Deseo SA; Sony Pictures Classics
“The Maid” (Chile) – Forastero; Elephant Eye Films
“A Prophet” (France) – Chic Films; Sony Pictures Classics
WINNER: “The White Ribbon” (Germany) – Wega Films; Sony Pictures Classics

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
“Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs”
“Coraline”
“Fantastic Mr. Fox”
“The Princess and the Frog”
WINNER: “Up”

BEST SCORE
WINNER: Michael Giacchino – “Up”
Marvin Hamlisch – “The Informant!”
James Horner – “Avatar”
Abel Korzeniowski – “A Single Man”
Karen O, Carter Burwell – “Where The Wild Things Are”

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
“Cinema Italiano” from “Nine” – Music & Lyrics by: Maury Yeston
“I Want to Come Home” from “Everybody’s Fine” – Music & Lyrics by: Paul McCartney
“I Will See You” from “Avatar” – Music by: James Horner, Simon Franglen; Lyrics by: James Horner, Simon Franglen, Kuk Harrell
WINNER: “The Weary Kind” from “Crazy Heart” – Music & Lyrics by: Ryan Bingham, T Bone Burnett
“Winter” from “Brothers” – Music by: U2; Lyrics by: Bono

TELEVISION

TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
“Big Love”
“Dexter”
“House”
WINNER: “Mad Men”
“True Blood”

TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
“30 Rock”
“Entourage”
WINNER: “Glee”
“Modern Family”
“The Office”

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Simon Baker – “The Mentalist”
WINNER: Michael C. Hall – “Dexter”
Jon Hamm – “Mad Men”
Hugh Laurie – “House”
Bill Paxton – “Big Love”

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Glenn Close – “Damages”
January Jones – “Mad Men”
WINNER: Julianna Margulies – “The Good Wife”
Anna Paquin – “True Blood”
Kyra Sedgwick – “The Closer”

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
WINNER: Toni Collette – “United States of Tara”
Courteney Cox – “Cougar Town”
Edie Falco – “Nurse Jackie”
Tina Fey – “30 Rock”
Lea Michele – “Glee”

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
WINNER: Alec Baldwin – “30 Rock”
Steve Carell – “The Office”
David Duchovny – “Californication”
Thomas Jane – “Hung”
Matthew Morrison – “Glee”

MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
“Georgia O’Keeffe”
WINNER: “Grey Gardens”
“Into the Storm”
“Little Dorrit”
“Taking Chance”

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
WINNER: Kevin Bacon – “Taking Chance”
Kenneth Branagh – “Wallander: One Step Behind”
Chiwetel Ejiofor – “Endgame”
Brendan Gleeson – “Into The Storm”
Jeremy Irons – “Georgia O’Keeffe”

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Joan Allen – “Georgia O’Keeffe”
WINNER: Drew Barrymore – “Grey Gardens”
Jessica Lange – “Grey Gardens”
Anna Paquin – “The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler”
Sigourney Weaver – “Prayers for Bobby”

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Jane Adams – “Hung”
Rose Byrne – “Damages”
Jane Lynch – “Glee”
Janet McTeer – “Into The Storm”
WINNER: Chloe Sevigny – “Big Love”

PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Michael Emerson – “Lost”
Neil Patrick Harris – “How I Met Your Mother”
William Hurt – “Damages”
WINNER: John Lithgow – “Dexter”
Jeremy Piven – “Entourage”