Tila Tequila will probably tweet her miscarriage

Pretty much everything Tila Tequila does is a calculated attempt at garnering attention. Most times it’s dumb stuff like being engaged to Casey Johnson. In the past few days though, it’s been getting ridiculous. Tila dented her head over the weekend after falling out of her chair. Her “publicist” said she wouldn’t be on Twitter for a while. I guessed she’d be out 36 hours and I was sort of right.

Now she’s tweeting about having sharp pains in her stomach. She forgot she was pregnant, so, uh oh, now there might be a miscarriage.

– I just woke up in the middle of the night cuz im having these intense sharp pains in my belly. it hurts so much that Im crying wtf

– The hospital says if it gets worse I need to go back and see them but how?? I have to go to Australia today…. it hurts so bad! =(

– Im gonna go see my private doc as soon as their office opens in about 2 hours. I hate hospitals but it feels like sharp stabbing in my belly

– It hurts so bad I literally woke up from my sleep….i dont know whats wrong? God this pain is too much!! I cant bare it =(

– Something is definitely wrong. The hospital gave me a list of symptoms & this is one of them. They said if I do I need 2 go back 2 hospital

– I would just die die die die if something is wrong……but my doctor’s office doesnt open for another 2 hours & I dont wanna call ambulance

– God i hope nothing is wrong. Im literally crying right now cuz I can barely move. its like sharp knife stabbing pains thats unbearable =(

– I told my friend I would just kill myself if anything ever happened….bad….cuz thats the only thing I live & work hard for.

– I REFUSE to go to the hospital. I did last time and look what happened? Media EXPLOITS all of my pains and serious accidents. NOT OK

If you read that, you’d see 1) Tila is having sharp pains in her stomach, 2) “pregnant”, 3) doesn’t want to call an ambulance and instead will choose to wait until her private doctor’s office is open.

– But if she loses her baby, she’ll probably kill herself, but she won’t because she’ll find new joy in the baby she’s adopting from Russia.

– ATTENTION EVERYONE! I have been APPROVED to adopt my own baby boy 2-3 years old from RUSSIA!!!! I will be his Mommy by the end of the year!!

– IM SO BLESSED! IN SECRET, I’VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS ADOPTION FOR A LONG TIME!! WITHIN THE NEXT MONTH OR 2 I CAN VISIT MY BABY BOY IN RUSSIA!

– Im so happy! My Son Jayden is waiting 4 me in Russia! Im going there for 21 days to spend time with him & love him so he knows im his mommy!

Tila Tequila is nuts. And there’s no way any country would approve Tila for adoption. That’s like putting an orphan on death row. And if she ever did have a baby, rest assured in two months she’ll be tweeting about how an eagle flew from the sky and wrenched her child from her loving arms. Of course, she’ll just be saying that to cover up the fact she left the kid on the hood of her car, drove off and when she came back to search for it, the baby was gone. Probably because it crawled away to somewhere safer like into a den of hungry lions.