Jessica Simpson doesn’t brush her teeth

Jessica Simpson must be on a mission to have no guy on Earth interested her. Besides subsisting on a diet of only fried foods, she now admits she doesn’t brush her teeth. From Us:

“I just use Listerine — and sometimes I’ll use my sweater,” she claimed, bursting into laughter.

“I do brush every now and again, but my teeth are extremely powerful. Fine, maybe when I’m 60 I’ll all, “ow!”

The singer adds that she loves “anything fried,” and that her nutrition habits weren’t always the best. “Growing up in Texas for me, fish was a fish stick. We weren’t really the healthiest of people. [My mom] didn’t force me to eat healthy.”

Use her sweater? What does she do? Rub it across her teeth like she was polishing a mirror? I don’t see how that even makes sense. No wonder guys always leave her. She basically described her mouth as Paris Hilton’s vagina.