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Vienna Girardi thinks she’s posing for Playboy

Vienna Girardi was on The Bachelor and she’s semi-famous this week because she broke up with Jake Pavelka and made everyone think he’s gay because they didn’t have sex in months. Now she’s posing for Playboy. In her own fantasy world. Radar said Vienna was going naked for the magazine but Playboy doesn’t know anything about this. A spokeswoman for the mag said:

“This is the first we’ve heard of Vienna Girardi appearing on the cover of Playboy. We are not in negotiations with her and have not made her an offer.”

Vienna must have wanted to leak this to drum up interest so Playboy would actually want to do a spread with her. I don’t think it worked. When people’s first reactions are, “What? Why? Ugh,” it’s not a good sign. Luckily Vienna has a plan B which is to show up naked to the Playboy office. I mean, she’s already there and naked. Might as well, right? Wrong. That’s the same plan I had to have sex with Megan Fox. Turns out that doesn’t work. Especially when you prematurely ejaculate all over the place. So embarrassing. I mean, this is the first time this has ever happened. You believe me, right?

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elsamson
elsamson
13 years ago

Oh this poor child named Vienna. Here she is ready to strip down and show not only her bare breasts, but she is willing–begging to take her manicured fingernails and spread her vagina and let people see the inside of her pink walls. Dear Vienna has announced that she is willing to shave her pussy bald so that the public can clearly see her brave little clitoris in the hopes that it will get her the six figures financial plan she has been dreaming of all her life. No doubt Vienna is also willing to squat and allow the cameras… Read more »