kristen-stewart-letterman

Kristen Stewart constantly has a pensive, worried look on her face. Always thinking. Now we know what it’s about. She thinks she’s going to be assassinated on the red carpet. *Twirls finger around ear*

“I don’t feel very comfortable on the red carpet,” she said. “I look out there at a thousand people and I realize they could rush me and assassinate me. No security could protect me. Ostensibly they’re fans, but I think about them turning on me.”

I think she should be more worried about getting mono from fan spittle when they excitedly ask for an autograph than about fans concocting a plan to trample her to death. But if she’s that worried about it, she should just roll around in a hamster ball. That’s what I do.