Lindsay Lohan’s report is too explosive for court

Lindsay Lohan is scheduled to be in court right to determine whether or not she’s going to jail for a year for violating her probation. But I think we already know she’s not going to jail. Unless she chops the judge’s head off. Even though, all that might happen is she gets yelled at.

Radar says Lindsay’s probation report is both “explosive and shocking” and will likely be public Tuesday morning when her probation officer takes the stand and is questioned by prosecutors. There is also questions as to whether or not Lindsay actually finished her alcohol education program.

Meanwhile, as RadarOnline.com previously reported, the District Attorney prosecuting Lohan will ask a judge during Tuesday’s hearing to force the court-ordered alcohol program overseeing the troubled actress’ rehabilitation to turn over its records immediately.

But she revealed to RadarOnline.com exclusively that the “alcohol education program has failed to provide… records about her attendance, meetings, and progress reports.

“The state-authorized program is citing HIPPA and Title IX as to reasons for not turning over the documents — I have never had this happen with an alcohol education program involving anyone,” Meyers told RadarOnline.com exclusively. “This is a state-authorized program, and these are routine and common requests.

The only way this report could be “explosive and shocking” is if showed Lindsay was in compliance and that she wasn’t in violation of her probation. Gasps would probably be heard in the courtroom and a woman in a big floppy sun hat would hold her hand up to her head and faint from all the excitement.