Lily Allen is pregnant

Usually the only time Lily Allen is newsworthy is when she walks around with her top off. This time she’s newsworthy because she’s three months pregnant with her boyfriend Sam Cooper. Things just got really unsexy really fast.

Her rep tells PEOPLE, “Lily Allen and Sam Cooper are very happy to confirm that Lily is expecting their first child. “Lily’s professional commitments will carry on as normal, including a scheduled performance at the Big Chill this weekend.”

Two and a half years ago Lily suffered a miscarriage with Ed Simmons of Chemical Brothers. Hopefully this time it’ll take. What I would do if the fetus ever tries to abort itself is yell at it until it gets its act together. Then I’d push my hand against my vagina and go, “Oh no you don’t, mister!”