On Wednesday, news broke that Mariah Carey might be four months pregnant. Nick Cannon was asked about it but didn’t say anything because he’s not allowed to speak without prior approval from Mariah. Luckily, now we don’t need to keep asking that idiot anymore because Mariah went on her website to sort of confirmed the rumors.
“I appreciate everyone’s well wishes. But I am very superstitious. When the time is right, everyone will know.”
Uh, well. Everyone sort of knows now. When you’re not pregnant, you deny the rumors. When you are pregnant and don’t want people to know, you say cryptic stuff like this. What exactly is there to be superstitious about anyway. The baby isn’t going to abort itself because you announce you’re pregnant. It’ll more likely abort itself because it’s trapped inside your purple Hello Kitty! womb and if it hasn’t done so yet, then I think it’s safe to say that you’re good to go. Someone should put a ladder over her stomach and watch her freak out just for the hell of it.
