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In the latest issue of Esquire, Sofia Vergara (Modern Family) says that while she’s not opposed to plastic surgery, there is a line. A line that has been crossed by people like Madonna who fool themselves into thinking it makes them look young when in fact they look like a freak.

“L. A. is crazy. The women all look the same now. That thing with the cheeks. Like Madonna. Who do they think they’re fooling? It doesn’t make them look young. You end up looking like a freak.”

Sofia looks 100 times hotter than Madonna. She’s got bigger boobs and more curves and a sexy accent. In contrast, Madonna looks like a gnarled old oak tree. Her arms are a veiny mess. Her body has so many sharp angles that she’d make a great ninja star. There’s no sexy accent either. Whenever she talks and points at you with her bony fingers, it’s like a witch casting a spell on you. Which is to say, Sofia Vergara is right. Some people just can’t grow old gracefully with their dignity in tact.