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Paris Hilton smuggles drugs in her vagina

“Girls Gone Wild” founder Joe Francis is currently trying to block the release of a tell-all book written by one of his former employees, Ryan Simkin. Simikin seems not too worried about the lawsuit and is releasing excerpts. The most recent one being about how Paris Hilton smuggled ecstasy and coke in her vagina to France.

Simkin says when Joe Francis was dating Paris Hilton, he wanted twenty hits of ecstasy and four 8-Balls of coke to give to Paris to smuggle on the plane.

Well, first he needed me to go to the office and get a check from Michael, the controller, for the money; then I needed to go buy the s**t and get it to Paris before her flight. I asked how the hell she was going to get all of that out of the country on a plane, and he said not to worry about it, that she would handle it.

…I enlisted my roommate to help me out, and he reluctantly agreed. She was down in Culver City at Smashbox studios, which was about a 40 minute drive for us. We sucked it up and made the drive. We pulled into the parking lot, and as we got out, we could see Paparazzi camped out across the street, just waiting for her to leave. We walked in, and she was right there, in mid photo shoot, wearing a nice little sun dress and holding her dog. I knew her from Mardi Gras and from seeing her out a couple times, so she waved at me when I walked in.

…We walked in, and she was naked. She was waiting for her next dress or whatever, but had already taken off her old dress. For the record, I’m a big fan of that move. She asked me if it was any trouble getting it, and I told her not really. I took out the Camel box and handed it to her, and she thanked me. We talked for a minute or two about the apparent difficulty of procuring those drugs in Europe. I asked if she was flying private, and she said, “No, commercial.” And then as politely as I could, I asked her how she planned on traveling with that amount of blow and X. She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch. Classic. (full excerpt at Gawker)

I should be amazed Paris can fit a whole Camel cigarette box into her vagina but I’m not. I sort of expected that. I’m pretty sure there was even enough room leftover in there for an MP3 player and a bong. Paris probably didn’t even need to check any luggage. She just stuffed it all into her vag.

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carouser
carouser
13 years ago

Does this mean, next time Paris gets pulled over, the police will get to skip the purse (probably not hers anyways) and delicately shove the search warrant directly in her pooter?Of course we can already imagine the headline now- “Parasite tweets her crotch was tampered with.”

Harshvardhan
Harshvardhan
13 years ago

wow i want see her vagina.

Wow
Wow
13 years ago
Reply to  Harshvardhan

hasnt everybody? the number of videos of her and her boyfriend(s) showing of her ‘box’ (as they refer to it!) are legion…..

Indunesan
Indunesan
13 years ago

No necessity of drug if one gets to see her vagina

Indunesan