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New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was in a car accident near his home in Boston Thursday morning at 6:30 AM. Tom’s Audi collided with a red Ford Aerostar three blocks from his house. The accident knocked over a light pole.

A witness described, “The red car went up in the air, sideways. … The tire was half off.” The driver of the Ford was fine but the passenger had to be freed with the Jaws of Life and was taken to the hospital with serious injuries. Brady was uninjured and went to practice later in the day.

According to a law enforcement source, based on the preliminary investigation, Brady was not at fault as he had the green light.

Another guy said he thought Tom was some kid who crashed his dad’s nice car. And another guy shouted from his window, “Cut your hair you damn hippie!”