katy-perry-late-show

Katy “10/10 in bed” Perry and Russell Brand abstained from sex for the entire month leading up to their wedding so they could pretend to be virgins again on their honeymoon. I’m not sure how that works but anyway, it never happened because Katy was “bit by a spider while in the Maldives.” Allegedly. She had to take medicine to fight off a nasty rash. Cough.syphilis.cough. Man, this cold is really getting to me.

But Grazia magazine says the rash isn’t what stopped her from having sex, it was the exhaustion from the medication.

Whatever. I’ve heard THAT excuse before. I suppose she also had a headache, had to fold laundry, had to wash her hair and felt uncomfortable with that big knife being held to her throat. Well, excuuuuse me, your highness.