Hollywood Has No Sense of Humor

Ricky Gervais opened up the Golden Globes by insulting most of the celebrities in Hollywood. Suffice to say, it was hilarious and fantastic. By the end of his monologue, I was ready to implant a womb inside me just so I could have his babies.

About half of Hollywood and a bunch of humorless ass kissers, however, were not amused. They think he went too far.

Ricky started off the night with a jab at Charlie Sheen. “It’s [The 68th Annual Golden Globes] going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast.” Fair enough. Charlie Sheen accepts the fact that he likes hookers and blow.

He then went on to point out something everyone has been wondering about. Why The Tourist was nominated. “Seems like everything this year was three dimensional. Except for the characters in the Tourist.” *Cut to Johnny Depp nervously chewing on his gum.* Oh no! Not beloved Johnny Depp!

Ricky also took a shot at the two big gay Scientologists and the old hags from Sex and the City.

Roberty Downey Jr., Tom Hanks and Tim Allen all criticized Gervais on stage. Said Hanks, “We recall when Ricky Gervais was a slightly chubby but very kind comedian,” to which Allen added: “Neither of which he is now.”

Granted, there are celebs who have a sense of humor. Christian Bale, for example. “Thank God for comedians,” he said, adding that he had no problems with Gervais’ zingers: “I’m hoping he’s going to keep going further.”

Then Al Pacino who said, “He’s a comic, so he’s going to go for it. He’s letting it go. The only thing he can really get to is his own wit. He has to censor himself. I’m sure he’s planned some of it – [the jokes] really fly. You don’t know what [he’s] going to say!”

Hollywood is a bunch of thin-skinned babies. If it was up to the majority of them, the Golden Globes would be nothing but them sitting around jerking each other off. The whole thing would be like a 19th century Victorian ball.