Charlie Sheen Went on the ‘Today Show’

Charlie Sheen went on The Today Show where he called himself a bitchin’, total frickin’ rock star from Mars, a person that normal people can’t process. He also wants a raise. Note that he gets paid around $2 million an episode and now he wants $3 million because according to him, he’s underpaid. Clip of that below.

The full interview is below and Charlie Sheen sounds insane (oops, sorry, that was a retarded opinion). He’s living with his two girlfriends and probably looking for a couple more porn stars to join his cult. Having a conversation with him would freak me out. He looks like he would stab you at any moment.

He says he’s not angry, just “passionate” and that he shouldn’t be begging for his job back, “I’m just gonna forewarn them that it’s everybody else that’s going to be begging me for their job back.” He goes on to quote Allen Iverson.

Also, he has tiger blood and Adonis DNA. You too, Charlie Sheen?!

In a separate 20/20 interview, Sheen said:

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen,” he chortled in an advance clip of an interview with ABC’s Andrea Canning that will run Tuesday.

“I’ve one speed, I’ve one gear, go! And I dare you to keep up with me.”

“There’s some wrongs to be righted and some stories to tell,” he told 20/20. “People need to hear my side of it.”

In related news, Charlie Sheen passed his drug and urine test he agreed to do for Radar Online. An independent lab administered the screening and Charlie tested negative for all illegal substances.

Oh great, so now he’s just crazy. Is that better or worse? I hope he shaves his head and swings umbrellas at paparazzi now. But he probably won’t because his powerful mind prevents him from having a breakdown.