‘Two and a Half Men’ Cancelled

Charlie Sheen got into a pissing contest with Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre and it seems Lorre won this round because CBS and Warner Bros. have halted production on Two and a Half Men for the rest of the season.

Earlier today, Sheen told TMZ he wanted to fight Chuck in the octagon and “if he wins, then he can leave MY show!” Charlie added,

“I violently hate Chaim Levine (Chuck Lorre). He’s a stupid, stupid little man and a p**sy punk that I’d never want to be like.” Charlie adds, “That’s me being polite.”

Charlie is scoffing at all the people around him, saying, “All these guys told me to ‘clean it up.’ Well this is me cleaning it the f**k up.”

Charlie, who insists he’s sober, says, “All I want is to bring my family together, and I have to deal with all this B.S. politics.”

And as if that’s not enough, Charlie says “That piece of s**t [Lorre] took money out of my pocket, my family’s pocket, and, most importantly, my second family — my crew’s pocket.”

Charlie adds, “You can tell him [Lorre] one thing. I own him.”

Hours later, CBS and Warner Bros. issued this statement, probably as a way of telling Sheen he isn’t untouchable:

“Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of ‘Two and a Half Men’ for the remainder of the season.”

This power play would have been a lot easier if they all just whipped out their d*cks to see who has the biggest. Because that’s all this really is. I’ll be amazed if this show isn’t back next season. Unless Charlie shoots himself in the foot again. Which right now is very likely. You really can’t pull this stuff with Charlie and expect him to take it sitting down. Especially when the millions per episode you’ve given him has turned him into a super being fueled by coke.

Update: Charlie also wrote a letter:

What does this say about Haim Levine [Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows … I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.

Remember these are my people … not yours…we will continue on together…