gilbert-gottfried-gala

The 9.0 earthquake that hit Japan last week, which sent a huge tsunami in their direction and may have started a nuclear meltdown, was apparently the perfect opportunity for Gilbert Gottfried to test out his lame tsunami jokes at their expense. I’m not calling them lame because they were tasteless either. I’m calling them lame because they really were lame.

  • I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said “is there a school in this area.” She said “not now, but just wait.”
  • Japan is really advanced. They don’t go to the beach. The beach comes to them.
  • What do the japanese have in common with @howardstern? They’re both radio active.
  • Japan had put out this urgent plea….” PLEASE SEND US A FEW BIlLION RUBBER DUCKIES!!!!!”
  • Japan called me. They said “maybe those jokes are a hit in the US, but over here, they’re all sinking.”
  • What does every Japanese person have in their apartment? Flood lights.
  • My Japanese doctor advised me to stay healthy I need 50 million gallons of water a day.
  • I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, “They’ll be another one floating by any minute now.”

Since 75% of Aflac’s business came from Japan, they fired Gottfried, who voices the duck in the commercials.

Aflac said in a statement Monday that Gottfried’s jokes do not represent the feelings of the company, which previously announced it would donate 100 million yen ($1.2 million) to the International Red Cross to help with disaster assistance.

“There is no place for anything but compassion and concern during these difficult times,” Chief Marketing Officer Michael Zuna said.

I didn’t even know he did the voice for the duck. I was more shocked that he had a job. I hope when Aflac fired him, they pulled him out the door by the neck with a cane, chucked rotten tomatoes at him and played “wah wah waaaaah” over the loud speaker.

Update: I didn’t notice this until now but if you rearrange a couple letters in his last name it spells ” Gott Fired.” Damn, easy headline right there.