Maria Shriver Leaked the Arnold Baby Story

Maria Shriver may have been so wrought by anger that she herself leaked the Arnold Schwarzenegger baby scandal.

Sources connected to Skeletor say she was “hysterical” when she found out about Arnold’s secret son and wanted to hold a news conference about it. “Bring me the head of He-Man!,” is what I expect she screamed.

Friends managed to talk her out of her awesome plan and instead formulated another one to leak details to the LA Times and TMZ. It wasn’t as spectacular but the end result was the same.

TMZ also discovered Maria found out about the baby in April or very early May. Maria was also miserable in her marriage and had been for two years. She wanted a divorce but was undecided until now. She was even looking for a condo LA in January.

Arnold, in the meantime, is upset Maria talked to her friends about the kid and knows Maria’s camp leaked the story.

Unlike normal women, Maria actually seems pretty sane. She was nice enough not to blow up Arnold’s political career but still managed to screw him in the short term from doing a bunch of films he had going (Terminator, etc.).

And now there may be even more secret kids coming out. If I was Maria, I’d have retreated to Castle Greyskull and used my sorcery to turn Arnold’s penis into a vagina.