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Mariah Carey Already Visited by Child Protective Services

It’s only been two weeks since Mariah Carey gave birth to her twins and she’s already been visited by Child Protective Services. Surprisingly not for asking a plastic surgeon about turning the twins into living, breathing Hello Kitty! dolls.

Nick Cannon told Piers Morgan on Thursday that CPS came to see him because allegations had been made that there was drug and alcohol use during their stay at the hospital. Turns out it was just a big misunderstanding. Or was it? Dun dun dun!

“It all started when a nurse suggested to my wife that if you drink Guinness, the dark beer, the yeast improves breastfeeding,” Cannon explained. “I don’t know if someone heard that, but then they were saying my wife was drinking beer. People will do anything to try to conjure up a story.”

“When I spoke to the person from Child Protection Services, they said, ‘This is ridiculous, we’re going to make sure this isn’t the case,'” Cannon recalled. “To even have to deal with that, with my wife in the state that she’s in while we’re in the hospital, to even have to think about someone possibly wanting to investigate your children…it’s sad at the end of the day.”

After all, Cannon concluded, “it’s really sad when you think about people trying to make a buck off newborn babies.”

Whatever. Nick Cannon probably said this while calling his publicist to find out which magazine would pay the most to put their babies on the cover. He might as well be like an old timey slave trader and stand on a wooden platform shouting, “Twins for sale! Twiiiins for saaaale!” That quote is going to bite him in the ass in two weeks.

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Mark
Mark
12 years ago

 Guinness isn’t beer, it’s stout.