Sean Penn Spotted With Female ‘Friends’ at Cannes

I hope this marks the demise of Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson’s relationship because seeing that 49-year-old pompous asshat with Scarlett Johansson makes baby Jesus sad.

According to reports from Cannes, Sean Penn was seen with two “super-hot” women, a blond and a brunette, in a glass elevator at the Hotel du Cap in Antibes at 4 a.m. on Friday. The three of them went to one of the three-story property’s higher floors. A source said, “They weren’t sharing the elevator. They were going up together.” Sean wasn’t going to his room either as he was staying on the ground floor with his 17-year-old son.

No joke. I went down on my knees and prayed “please don’t let this be a foursome with Scarlett Johansson,” because if it was, I’d have to slit my wrists. But only after beating off to the thought of Scarlett Johansson with two chicks.