Steven Tyler’s Big Penis

TMZ sat down with Guns ‘N Roses drummer Steven Adler. For what reason, no one knows, but the conversation quickly turned away from the mumbling Steven Adler and onto more famous people like the other Steven. Steven Tyler.

Because it’s TMZ, what started as a discussion about taking ExtenZe to enlarge Adler’s dick (doesn’t work, he claims), turned into a discussion about Steven Tyler’s huge penis. Adler said, “I’ve tried ’em. They don’t work. After seeing Steven Tyler’s right with five different girls hands wrapped around it, I’m lucky if I take my clothes off after that. I was devastated.”

To be fair, a horse would be devastated after seeing that. Considering the estimated breadth of a woman’s hand is something around 3 inches and assuming Adler is talking about 5 hands on top of each other, that would make Steven Tyler’s penis 15 inches long. Give or take. At that point, it becomes more of a liability, really. At least that’s what I say to make myself feel better.