Lady Gaga May Die

A new tell-all by IRL celebrity troll Ian Halperin calls Lady Gaga sick and obsessed with her weight. He says she’ll stand in front of a mirror for hours criticizing her body and will barely eat for weeks at a time to fit into her costume. He also claims the reason Gaga always wears so much makeup is because she’s covered in red splotches and her hair is falling out from lupus. She’s also a cokehead. This tell-all seems very flattering.

“Those who have worked with her on tour reported to me that Gaga barely ate for weeks at a time to fit into her costume,” said Halperin, who has spent 12 months investigating Gaga for his book.

“She is sick and obsessed with her weight. One friend told me, Gaga will stare at herself in the mirror for hours on end, analyzing and critiquing her body. It’s an unhealthy obsession.”

“Her lupus is far worse than she lets on,” he said of the disease, which Gaga has admitted to having. “Part of the reason she wears wigs and makeup is because her hair is falling out and she’s covered in red blotches, both side effects of the disease.”

But her weight and her health are not her only problems Halperin claims. “Her drug use started young. From heroin to cocaine and ecstasy, her friends say that she has done every drug conceivable. You name it she has done it.

“She’s morphed into this caricature called Lady Gaga, who isn’t even a real person. The girl known as Stefi to her friends and family has all but disappeared.” [Radar]

Red, splotchy skin, hair falling out and a drug problem. If Lady Gaga wasn’t attractive before, then hopefully this tell-all which describes Lady Gaga as a weight obsessed goblin will change your mind. Hubba hubba. Also, in before “it’s not lupus.”